Forecasting the Future...

If there is one thing I can guarantee about the future, it would its uncertainty. We planned to take these senior pictures based on the weather forecast, and to our dismay... it rained instead. It has proved to be true that weather, along with many other aspects of life, are out of our control. So, what is in our control?

Our Response.

These beautiful girls whipped out their umbrellas and took senior pictures in the rain- and smiled while doing it! It's easy to see, with an attitude like that, their forecast for the future is looking bright. Good luck Kaley and Sarah! Enjoy being the Class of 2012- through the sun... the rain... the clouds... the wind... and the rainbows! :)

Odd Man Out...

In the last few weeks, three different women have expressed feelings of isolation in relation to their social status. Their reasons behind the detachment involved age, relationship status, number of children, age of children, job situation and so on. Life seems to balance seasons of bountiful friendships and crammed comradery calenders with seasons of starved social standings and loneliness. Although the latter of the seasons isn't near as fun, it seems to be an important part of spiritual growth to occasionally find yourself: the odd man out.

After the girls were in bed at Teen Challenge, I would float around in the pool looking up at the stars... wondering WHEN God was going to bring 'the' guy into the picture. I had just come out of one of the most fun semesters of my life- staying up late in the dorm- playing truth or dare, laughing with my girlfriends and stumbling to class the next morning because I so tired. And although I knew God wanted me to take this job, I now felt incredibly lonely. All my friends were busy dating and couldn't relate to the traumatic situations I was facing in my new job. The season of meeting 'the' guy eventually came and it was fun and exciting and all that I had dreamed of. But, in hindsight, I can't think of another time that I have grown closer to the Lord than in my time at Teen Challenge.

Years later... the very first pregnancy test turned positive. Jeremy and I had only been married six months and in a moment, our ability to pick up and hang out with our young married friends, was snatched. Although we had GREAT friends during that time... being the only couple with a child challenged our ability to fit in. In recent years, we found ourselves in transition yet again. We made a move from one state to another and socially- we were at the bottom of the totem pole. We spent many nights questioning our decision to move and wondering where we fit in to this new life we were trying to create.

Waves of loneliness just seem to be a part of life. I woke up in the middle of the night last night thinking of Sarah. She had longed for a child most of her life and at around 100 years of age, God gave her a baby. The Bible says that she laughed at the preposterous idea that she would have a child at her age. And yet, she found herself... mothering for the first time. If you've had the opportunity to have a child, you know that the first few weeks are absolutely overwhelming to a new mom. You are experiencing some of the greatest love of your lifetime, and yet you are totally overwhelmed at trying to figure out motherhood.

I imagine that while Sarah was amazed at what God had done, she was also experiencing some social starvation of her own. I mean, let's get real... what Mommy Monday group was Sarah going to get invited to??? I picture Sarah having questions, as most new moms do, and wondering 'who can I call?..... there's a 15 year old girl down the street that is married with children... but we have an 85 year age gap!!!' I picture Sarah being spit up on, dealing with a tantrum with Isaac in the middle of the town McDonald's and feeling totally alone as to how she fit in with other moms. But one thing I know that Sarah knew... is that child was promised!!! Isaac was the gateway into fulfilling the promises God gave Abraham. I also picture Sarah pressing in and drawing closer to God- focusing her energy on reveling in the amazing works of God in her life.

The fulfilling part of loneliness comes in your decision to draw closer to Him. The Bible says there is a friend that draws closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24); that He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5); and the He knows that plans He has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you (Jeremiah 29:11). The seasons of being the odd man out are usually opportunities to experience an astounding amount of spiritual growth. You may not see it until years after the season has passed, but loneliness can be an invitation for a rendezvous with the Lord. Trust that if life circumstances have left you out, God is providing for you a season to grow.

Don't Feed The Animals!!!

One of my favorite lines from Olympia Dukakis in Steal Magnolia's is... "You know what they say.... If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me!" However, I have opted not to blog for over a month for the more traditional version of the catch phrase. The fact is... it's just darn good advice. The awful feeling of early pregnancy surprises me every time! Keeping quiet until the first trimester was over probably prevented me from saying something I would regret. At least now... I may make some sense- no promises.

But, on to a much better part in this process of pregnancy, we left for North Carolina for a much needed vacation. This is just a sneak peak into one day of our vacation: a visit to Lazy 5 Ranch- a horse-drawn carriage with lots of animals to feed. This blog is mainly pictures... but it's an important step to getting back in the saddle of blogging again.

My One and Only Solo...

Hey guys, it's Jeremy. I made the executive decision to hack into this blog and leave a special video for Ashli! Hope you enjoy!

Strength in Numbers...

Mike & Robyn August 10, 1996

Jeremy & Ashli June 26, 2004

David & Ashley December 16, 2006

Daniel & Amanda May 2, 2009

Austin & Ashley December 31, 2010

If we were able to take a glimpse into the wild, it wouldn't take long before we saw a herd of animals pass by. Why do many animals travel in herds rather then opt for a solitary existence? It is believed that the strongest selective pressure leading to herding is protection against predators.

A couple of years ago, our church had a push for small groups to begin meeting outside of a Sunday service. The purpose for this was to deepen relationships within the body and meet the needs of individuals which is difficult to do in a large group setting. At the time, Jeremy and I felt like we were drowning in parenthood. It was all we did outside of work and church and we felt alone. We often left church empty because we lacked any real adult communication besides each other. We needed friends. But, that's easier said then done. The 'Hello, my name is Ashli and I want to be your friend' just doesn't cut it after 1st grade.

But, we were invited (very important) and we chose to take the leap to join a small group. And I have to say, it was one of the better decisions we've ever made. We actually have eight couples that meet twice a month for good food, good conversation, and a time of building each other up in the word and prayer. In the two years we have been involved, we have seen babies born, watched first steps, celebrated birthdays, helped each other move, watched a couple get married, eaten a LOT of good food, supported members who lost jobs, celebrated when God gave them a new job, cried about bad days, laughed about embarrassing moments and walked through the death of family members. We have formed a herd. We all have taken our turn at being in need. And we are a herd that is prepared to circle around you and protect you from the predator of this world.

Currently, we are walking through a study on marriage. Marriage is hard sometimes! But removing yourself from the deserted island of solitary existence and placing yourself in a herd brings strength to your marriage. Because you're no longer alone. We have a couple in our small group that has been married for around 30 years all the way to a couple that has about five months under their belt. But, we are all still learning, still growing- no matter how long it was since we took that leap. So, I am celebrating my small group today! If you are not a part of a herd... ask someone at your church if there are any small groups available. If not- start one!!! Most times, people are just waiting to be asked. People need people.

Poker Face

Disguising emotions has never been my strong suit. My poker face tends to look like Brody's... I reveal everything that I'm holding. If I'm thinking about something that makes me happy, a smile stretches across my face. If something has frustrated me, an annoyed look appears. Usually, my face leaves nothing for question. As women... our emotions are powerful tools. Most girls learn early on that if we flip on the waterworks, we will pretty much have our Daddy's at our disposal. :) I used to cry at the drop of a hat. I remember one time in particular my hair stylist informed me she was running an hour behind on prom night. This put my prom itinerary in shambles... so, what did I do? I sat down and had a good cry. My mom said, "Get a hold of yourself, woman!!!"

Controlling those demonstrative emotions is an important part in our spiritual growth. When I look back on my prom night, I can see the stupidity in my lack of self-control. These days, I rarely cry... unless it has to do with a child being mistreated or terminally ill... then, I'm a basket case. But, I still have more to learn in perfecting my poker face.

Nehemiah gives us a great example of emotion control. He found out some terrible news about his home town in late Fall but he waited to speak to the king until Spring. During those months, he fasted and prayed. But while he was at work, he kept on his poker face. It says in Nehemiah 2: "I had not been sad in his presence before, so the king asked me, "Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart." You see, when he decided to talk to the king, he used his emotions as a tool.

It doesn't say he had NEVER been sad during his time as cup bearer- it said he was NEVER sad in the king's presence. You need to have someone who you are able to process your emotions with. It may be an accountability partner or your spouse- someone who you can let your hair down with. But, letting everyone in- your boss, your coworkers, the bank teller, the bag-boy, the UPS man... will ultimately not be to your benefit. It speaks volumes to those around you when you can show a steady joy and contentment with life. If you let everyone in to every bad mood- why would they want what you have? This is not about falsely presenting yourself, it's about control. Proverbs 25:28... Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.

Not every emotion deserves your oxygen. Not every mood needs to replace your poker face.

Fun to be One!!!

Dallas Brantley turns 1!!! (Well... almost) I can hardly believe a year has gone by. He is the happiest, sweetest, most handsome 1 year old I know! He wasn't sure what to do with his cake. I'm not sure he knew it was edible. But after a little help from his brothers, the show began! Happy 1st Birthday to my 3rd handsome prince!!!